Wonder Land

I dont know where to begin really. But I'm very sexually frustrated right now and its doing mu fucking nut in. But never mind. I'll get over it I guess.

------------------------------------

College is going well I've met a lot of nice people there. My lessons are great. I think I'm doing better than I thought I would to be honest. I was on fire in english language the other day, I felt really proud of my self and ended up with a very smug look on my face. It was well fun though. Other than Kate, I think Stacey and Sarah are my best friends in english, Jo is pretty cool too =].

-------------------------------------

I am shocked Steffi has got a girlfriend, and by the looks of things she hasnt told anyone. I miss being close to Steff, we used to be like that *crosses her fingers*. We were so close. She used to tell me everything. But now I feel like I really have been pushed out of the picture. I dont feel like she even wants me to be around as her friend. I feel like an annoyance to her. An inconvenience that just wont go away.

--------------------------------------

My driving lessons are going well. My instructor says I'm above average. I got to drive home on my last lesson. It was only like my second hour of actual driving, I was well chuffed. She's making me drive from home, round my old school for a while then up to college in my next lesson. Eeeeee its going to be fun. I love driving, its really fun, I even managed to do something in my last lesson which she said most people find difficult and I apparently did it really well. Ok so I stalled about 3 or 4 times but who doesnt stall when they are learning how to drive?

-------------------------------------

Ok ramble over.

Okay, so it's judgement day, and my time to pay... meh Its my first driving lesson in 14 mins ish! Ahhh i'm so scared! I'm gunna crash! I just know it! and I'm gunna stall about 100000000 times! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

------------------------------------

I have a new Partner! Her name is Cherie... and she is very prechious to me. I dunno what else to say except she makes me happier than anyone else ever has. <3 =] she's my girlie. And she's the best.

grrrr I have to go to work in less than 3 hours *grumbles* i cant be bothered.

---------------------------

I met a really fit emo girl called Sophie in my drama class yesterday... mmmmmm .. she's really nice... =]

---------------------------

I went into the student union on thursday with my friend Ami to get her bus pass, and while I was there I thought I would ask about the LGBT group at college and they said they needed someone to run it, so they asked me if I wanted to, I thought what the hell and I said yes. Its weird we went in for a bus pass and I came out with a job. They give me money to go to confrensses all over the country as well which is fantastic. It was only my third day. I seriously think I will be running the college by the end of the two years lol.

I had my first taste of college today... it was pretty cool... though I got put in the same tutor group as Aaron.. I didnt even know he was going to college. O.o it was a shock to even see him there let alone him being in my tutor group. And i made 2 new friends Kate and Katie. They're pretty cool... I think Kate was a bit shocked when I told her that I'm a lesian... but never mind. Yeah I'm very tired now. My boss was nice to me he bought me dinner =] its all I've eaten today.. bless him.

Grrrr at being worried about people you love too much to lose =[

LMAO I do love the second film so much. Its so funny. And I love the music.
Ok stepping away from the film and going on to the person.
I am having a Bridget Jones moment.
I feel like I'm going to die a lonely old spinster with about 10,000 cats.
I am over weight.
Ok so i'm not an alcoholic and I dont smoke.
But I need to stop biting my nails and stop eating so much junk food.

I feel bad about what I've done to some people over the past year.
I'm try to fix that.
And I apologise if any of you are reading this.

There are people that I love and I have lost.
Some of the people I lost I got back again and I never want to lose them again.
I never want to lose any of my friends.
I especially never want to lose the following people:
- Lisa
- Steffi
- Brit
- Lau
- Gemma.

I love them all so much.
And I will always love them no matter what.

Well Life is a funny little thing. I am single once again and I wish I could just spend my birthday with someone I love and care about.
I so want to be with you but you are right it wouldnt work and it would be really difficult.
But even as friends I would love to be with you on my birthday.
You're the only person I really want to see on my birthday But thats not going to happem *sigh*
I want you to be happy.
I wish we could be happy with each other.
It hurts to think that we will never be together.
But I guess its right to say Never say never.
One day perhaps things will be different but who knows.